Skip to main content

Christian Leaders and their dysfunctional family the church.




Have a family culture.

I have just finished reading the book of Genesis. The whole book gave me the feeling that no matter what the outcome God was always in control. There is also a human face to the book, the stories of the great patriarchal families for example and their struggles with nature, their neighbours and each other. The one thing that struck me was how dysfunctional these families were. There was adultery, deceit, trickery and sibling rivalry to name but a few of their many flaws.

This got me thinking about our church family and the fact that this too is made up of all sorts of dysfunctional people. Charles Spurgeon once said that there is no such thing as a perfect church and if you find one; don't go because it will no longer be perfect. By their very nature therefore churches should not exist, but they do.

How do we as Christian Leaders help our dysfunctional church families grow and prosper in their relationship with God and each other? Here are some of the ways I think that we can do this:

1. Encourage a friendship culture in the church, not just a friendly culture. I have been in many churches that say they are friendly but in reality they are not. Visitors are sometimes over looked and even ignored, because we feel uncomfortable speaking to strangers. The sooner a leader can stamp this out and encourage their congregation to engage with strangers and develop a friendship culture the more people will feel inclined to become involved.

2. Having a friendship culture will quickly lead to a family culture, where people become involved in serving Jesus Christ and his church and become part of a group, that is full of different people but is potential focused rather than problem focused.

3) If you emphasis a high friendship culture you will have a low pastoral care input because the friends the new converts are making will be putting positive things into their lives. Churches that just claim to be friendly inevitably have a high pastoral care input, where pastors and leaders are run off their feet trying to solve peoples problems.

4) A Friendship based culture leads to a family culture that encourages dysfunctional people to be functional and grow in their potential along with the rest of their new family

5) Our jobs are to make disciples of people, in other words we need to get them to become lifelong learners, in the right sort of lifelong relationship, with Jesus.

6) The way we build relationship is that we are real and authentic with people just the way Jesus was authentic with us.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The 1970's Christian Coffee Shop

I remember as a new Christian being invited into a Christian Coffee shop in the town where I grew up. It was clean and tidy, the table tops were all brightly painted in different colours,  but mainly yellow and scattered on top were a random selection of Christian tracts. Fish symbols and Christian posters proclaiming that there was but 'One Way' to heaven were everywhere. The music playing out of the stereo was The Bill Gather Trio or Dolly Parton singing Gospel. The crockery, was a mixed assortment of coffee mugs, donated by keen supporters of this outreach to the unsaved sinners and ungodly people living in the city. The coffee was a local brand heavily mixed with chicory. In all the years the Coffee Shop operated, I never saw a non-Christian go in and I never heard of a person coming to faith through having coffee there. I never really understood its purpose. Fast forward to today, when I was asked recently, to advise on helping a local community church open a c...

The myth of Ministry Leadership.

The myth that all leaders are leaders. Not everyone who leads in church is a leader. I think it is wrong, for Church leaders to believe that those they train up to take various ministry leadership positions, are in fact leaders in their own right. They are not. At best I would categorise these people- that many churches call 'ministry leaders' as ministry managers.                 "At one level there is nothing wrong with title inflation; it is a cheap way of recognising people who work hard and make serious contributions" Jo Owen. I am of the opinion that this title inflation undervalues both the leader and the ' ministry manager' and can often bring about confusion and mismatched expectations. Many churches have ministry training evenings for their volunteers. Many use the reason for this training is "to make a person a better leader," when in fact the only thing actually happening is that th...

Christian leaders and how to fire a Christian employee.

This weeks ramblings. I was asked this week if it was OK for Christian employers to fire other Christian staff.  Firstly let me state that it is always important to follow the laws of the country that you live in, but the question should be; Do I as an employer have the right to fire other staff Christian or not. The short answer is YES! Let me give you two examples I have come across; Case Study 1; The CEO of medium sized Christian organisation dealing in books and other Christian Literature had a problem with one of their staff. The person concerned, let’s call him Pete, seemed to push everybody’s buttons. Pete had been with the company 2 years, his first six months were just great but after that everything went downhill. He always complained, he bad mouthed his managers. At company social gatherings, when sport was played, he never played with any great sportsmanship; it seemed that every decision was wrong or somebody had a beef with him. But, Pete went to the same c...